Taking the piss?

In a calm voice a Cow named Nandini says to King Dilip

na kevalam payasa prasutim   ve hi man kam dugham prasannam*

Translation: Whenever I am pleased and happy I can fulfill all desires.  Don’t consider me to be just milk supplier. (*from a vedic reference)

Back in the day I used to ‘help’ my uncle milk the cows, or as much as a city kid of 12 could help. One early morning in the milking shed as I applied the milking cups, a cow did a massive shit right on my head, literally covering me. I’ve only now realised this was the cow probably trying to fulfill my desires, after stumbling into the following while exploring the world of cow costume. I’ve had a week on the piss, bare with me, I think you’ll find this interesting.

It’s alot to do with a cow having all sorts of golden salts in their system, and a surya ketu nadi (vein connected to the sun) passing through her backbone making it happen. This connection assists with the production of golden salts in the blood, milk and other bodily fluids, which are claimed to be capable of curing many diseases(?) Cue the miraculous golden shower…

I ♥ cows. My first car had a fresian painted on the bonnet, along with a whole lot of other hippy esoteric stuff on the sides, flowers and no nukes etc… I was a vegetarian back then when I thought I knew everything. I used to help out at the soup kitchen run by the Hare Krishnas cause I love their food and haircuts, @CustardSquare won’t let me get one. Never did have a cow urine convo with my soup kitchen buddies, nor have I yet had one with my uncle (another one) who is a Krishna devotee. Seems getting in on the cow piss as all the rage in Krishna circles.

The Vishwa Mangala Gou Grama Yathra provide a helpful list of the medicinal values of cow urine, along with a comprehensive product range to match their competitors Kanpur Gaushala Society and my fave cow urine brand Gomata. Take your daily cow supplements with a refreshing glass of cool cola from cow urine. I suggest a seasonal beverage collab with L&P – the name says it all.

Then I read about the Dinka. WTF. Young boys employing an unusual technique to encourage the cow to lactate, along with their customary showering in urine. I’m happy I only got shat on as a boy. You win Dinka.


About Curd Nerd

Put it in my belly, especially if it's smelly.
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